Cause/Effect analysis

Edit the following text to make any sentences as short as possible without changing their meaning

Sleep deprivation can have serious effects on your health in the form of physical and mental impairments. Inadequate rest impairs our ability to think, handle stress, maintain a healthy immune system and moderate our emotions. In fact, sleep is so important to our overall health that total sleep deprivation has been proven to be fatal: lab rats denied the chance to rest die within two to three weeks.
Without adequate rest, the brain's ability to function quickly deteriorates. The brain works harder to counteract sleep deprivation effects, but operates less effectively: concentration levels drop, and memory becomes impaired.
Similarly, the brain's ability to solve problems is greatly impaired. Decision-making abilities are compromised, and the brain falls into rigid thought patterns that make it difficult to generate new problem-solving ideas. Insufficient rest can also cause people to have hallucinations. Other typical effects of sleep deprivation include weight changes.

Dramatic weight changes, especially weight gain, are also common effects of sleep deprivation. Because the amount and quality of the sleep we get affects our hormone levels, namely our levels of leptin and ghrelin, many physiological processes that depend on these hormone levels to function properly, including appetite, are affected by our sleep.
Leptin is a hormone that affects our feelings of fullness and satisfaction after a meal, and ghrelin is the hormone that stimulates our appetites. When you suffer from sleep deprivation, your body’s levels of leptin fall and ghrelin levels increase. This means that you end up feeling hungrier without really feeling satisfied by what you eat, causing you to eat more and, consequently, gain weight.

Edited Text:

Sleep deprivation can affect you. Inadequate rest impairs our brain and body. In fact, sleep deprivation might be fatal.
Without rest, the brain's ability to function deteriorates; it works harder, but operates less effectively. Similarly, its ability to solve problems is impaired. It also causes hallucinations. Other effects include weight changes.

Weight gain is another effect. The quality of our sleep affects our leptin and ghrelin levels. Leptin is a hormone that affects our feeling of satisfaction after meals, and ghrelin stimulates our appetite. When you suffer from this, these hormone levels fall and increase respectively. So, you feel hungrier.

Comprising information

Edit the following paragraph to make any sentences as short as possible without changing their meaning

Adam Smith, the founder of modern economics, proposed a theory in the eighteenth century that has made him controversial ever since. This British economist, who was born in Scotland and educated in England, wrote the first complete study of political economy. The Wealth of Nations was published in the same year that Americans declared their independence from England – that was 1776. Smith’s book pointed out and directed attention to the interdependence of freedom and order, economic processes, and free trade laws. Although his thinking did not really affect economic policies significantly during his lifetime, its influence in the next century was considerable. Among economist, “the invisible hand” and “ laissez- faire” are synonymous with Smith’s name. History has only -made Smith’s ideas more controversial. Say “Adam Smith” to conservative businesspeople, and those same people will smile and make a response with words like “He was a good man – really understood how business works!” Say “Adam Smith” to liberal reformers and they will grimace and mutter something along the lines of “He was an idol man – really sold the average citizen down the river.” Both of these reactions are extreme, but such responses indicate that the controversy aroused by Smith’s ideas is still alive.

Edited text:

Adam Smith founded modern economics and proposed a theory in the eighteenth century that has made him controversial. This economist was born in Scotland and educated in England; he wrote the first complete study of political economy. The Wealth of Nations was published in the same year of the independence of America – that was 1776. Smith’s book pointed out the interdependence of freedom and order, economic processes, and free trade laws. Although his thinking did not affect economic policies, its influence in the next century was considerable. Among economists, “the invisible hand” and “ laissez- faire” are synonymous with Smith. Say “Adam Smith” to conservative businesspeople, and those will smile and response. Say “Adam Smith” to liberal reformers and they will grimace and mutter something. These reactions are extreme, but these indicate that Smith’s ideas are still alive.

Extra Conciseness - Endorphins: Natural Pain and Stress Fighters

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Endorphins are among the brain chemicals known as neurotransmitters, which function to transmit electrical signals within the nervous system. At least 20 types of endorphins have been demonstrated in humans. Endorphins can be found in the pituitary gland, in other parts of the brain, or distributed throughout the nervous system.
Stress and pain are the two most common factors leading to the release of endorphins. Endorphins interact with the opiate receptors in the brain to reduce our perception of pain and act similarly to drugs such as morphine and codeine. In contrast to the opiate drugs; however, activation of the opiate receptors by the body's endorphins does not lead to addiction or dependence.
In addition to decreased feelings of pain, secretion of endorphins leads to feelings of euphoria, modulation of appetite, release of sex hormones, and enhancement of the immune response. With high endorphin levels, we feel less pain and fewer negative effects of stress. Endorphins have been suggested as modulators of the so-called "runner's high" that athletes achieve with prolonged exercise. While the role of endorphins and other compounds as potential triggers of this euphoric response has been debated extensively by doctors and scientists, it is at least known that the body does produce endorphins in response to prolonged, continuous exercise.
Endorphin release varies among individuals. This means that two people who exercise at the same level or suffer the same degree of pain will not necessarily produce similar levels of endorphins. Certain foods, such as chocolate or chilli peppers, can also lead to enhanced secretion of endorphins. In the case of chilli peppers, the spicier the pepper, the more endorphins are secreted. The release of endorphins upon ingestion of chocolate likely explains the comforting feelings that many people associate with this food and the craving for chocolate in times of stress.
Even if you don't participate in strenuous athletics, you can also try various activities to increase your body's endorphin levels. Studies of acupuncture and massage therapy have shown that both of these techniques can stimulate endorphin secretion. Sex is also a potent trigger for endorphin release. Finally, the practice of meditation can increase the amount of endorphins released in your body.

Medical Author: Melissa Conrad Stoppler, MD.
Medical Editor: William C. Shiel, Jr, MD, FACP, FACR.

Edited text:

Endorphins are among neurotransmitters. At least 20 types of endorphins have been demonstrated in humans. Endorphins can be found in the pituitary, in other parts of the brain, or throughout the nervous system.
Stress and pain are the most common factors leading to endorphin release. Endorphins interact with the opiate receptors in the brain to reduce pain and act like drugs such as morphine. In contrast to the opiate drugs; however, activation of the opiate receptors by the body's endorphins is not addictive.
Besides to decreased feelings of pain, secretion of endorphins leads to euphoria, modulation of appetite, release of sex hormones, and enhancement of the immune response. With high endorphin levels, we feel less pain and stress. Endorphins have been suggested as modulators of the so-called "runner's high" that athletes achieve with prolonged exercise. While the role of endorphins has been debated, it is known that the body does produce endorphins in response to prolonged exercise.
Endorphin release varies. Two people who exercise similarly or suffer the same pain will not necessarily produce similar levels of endorphins. Chocolate and chilli peppers can also lead to endorphin secretion. In the case of chilli peppers, the spicier the pepper, the more endorphins are secreted. The release of endorphins upon ingestion of chocolate explains the comforting feelings that many people associate with it.
Even if you don't participate in strenuous athletics, you can also try activities to increase your endorphin levels; acupuncture and massages can do it. Sex is also a potent trigger for endorphin release. Finally, meditation can increase the amount of endorphins released.

Conciseness (Exercise)

Monica has sent her summary to the evaluative committee of the magazine "TESOL Quarterly" to be considered for future publication. However, it was sent back because the word limit was 115. Help Monica to reduce it and fulfil the demands of the audience to be accepted.

(1) This study went through over 1,600 marginal and end comments written on 110 first drafts of assays by 47 university ESL students who are advanced, considering both the pragmatic goals for and the linguistic features of each comment. (2) After this, drafts of each individual essay were examined to observe the influence of the fist draft commentary on the students' revisions and assess whether the changes that were made in response to the teacher's feedback actually improved the assays. (3) The author thinks that a really significant proportion of the comments led to substantive student revision, and that there were particular types or kinds and forms of commentary that were more helpful than other commentaries. (4) The final results are suggestive of several important implications for L2 writing instruction and for future studies on a vital but surprisingly neglected topic.

The influence of teacher commentary on student revision. TESOL QUARTERLY. VOL 31, 2.

Edited text:

This study went through over 1,660 marginal and end comments written on 110 first essay drafts by 47 advanced university ESL students, considering the pragmatic goals for and the linguistic features of each comment. After this, drafts of each essay were examined to observe the influence of the first draft commentary on the students' revisions and assess whether the changes that were made in response to the teacher's feedback improved the essays. A significant proportion of the comments led to substantive student revision, and particular types and forms of commentary were more helpful than others. The final results are suggestive of several implications for L2 writing instruction and for future studies on this topic.

Finding the main idea

Read each paragraph and state the main idea in your own words. If you find the main idea stated directly in the paragraph, be sure to use the paraphrasing techniques that you practice in exercise one.

• There is plenty of water on the earth. In fact, there is enough water in this planet for everyone to have a huge lake. The trouble is that the water is not always found in the place where it is needed. In addition, much of the water is polluted or salty. Because of these problems, there are many people without sufficient water.

Main idea: Even though there is an enormous quantity of water in earth planet, some aspects limit the use of it.

• New oil supplies need to be found to replace those that have been used up. There is a constant search for new oil fields. Oil hunters sink their wells wherever there are signals of oil. Each of these drillings costs thousands of thousands of dollars, and often there is not enough oil to make it profitable. Nevertheless, the search of oil never ends.

Main idea: Oil hunters never give up because old oil supplies need to be replaced.

• Quakers, a religious group known as the Society of Friends, have always worked for human causes. Before the Civil War in the United States, they were against slavery and led the movement to help slaves escape from the southern part of the United States and seek freedom in the northern part. Today, they fight hunger and disease around the globe and still aid people fleeing tyranny and war. Their beliefs are based on the principles of pacifism and simple living.

Main idea: Quakers have always worked to protect human rights.

Paraphrasing Excercises

Paraphrase each sentence. There may be more than one way to rewrite each one. Remember to change the vocabulary, phrases and sentence structure wherever you can.

• Despite their massive size, elephants are known for being agile.

Although elephants are heavy animals, they are nimble.

• Because elephants consume up to 500 pounds of food a day, they are able to strip a forest bare in no time.

Elephants eat enormous amounts of food daily; they can strip a forest quickly.

• Over the centuries, lions have been used in art to represent power and magnificence.

For years, the image of lion has been used as a symbol of power in art.

• Lions are social animals with one dominant male in each pride.

There is only one dominant male lion in each social group.

• George Washington Carver was a dedicated teacher, in addition, he was known as a talented artist, musician, and researcher who made valuable contributions to his people and his country.

George Washington Carver was an excellent teacher and researcher who made important contributions to people; he is also remembered for his artistic gifts.

• Archibald McLeish, known for his poetry, was appointed head of the Library of Congress by President Roosevelt in 1939.

In 1939, President Roosevelt chose the poet Archibald McLeish as head of the Library Congress.